"Listen With Your Heart"

Certain songs touch you in certain ways.

"Baby Mine" was the lullaby that comforted me in Japan,

and now "Listen With Your Heart" is my song of strength and hope, in Florida.

With all the decisions in my life right now,
my heart needs all the courage it can muster. 

{"Listen With Your Heart" cover © Ashley Serena, original © Disney}

{images © respective owners}

"Live Always"

I am becoming a regular at Quiznos. 

The service is lovely and quiet, 

and the food is a delicious alternative to cooking. 

One of the employees has learned my face. 

Today, he asked, 

"Why do you always come here alone?" 

And that's when I remembered Japan. 

Living there, on my own, 

taught me to explore the world by myself 

and not be ashamed about it. 

There is so much to do, so many things to see, 

that you should never hinder yourself 

from lack of company. 

True, life is better shared, 

but you should never stop living 

just because you're by yourself for a moment. 

{image © respective owner}

"Boy in the Gas Station"

Florida is turning me into a humbler person already. 

Reflecting, I can see how these small acts of kindness 

given to me since I've driven here 

can be viewed as minuscule, meager deeds. 

But to me, they've meant the world. 

Thank you already, Florida.

♪ "Innocence" © Cécile Corbel

"Soulmate"

I believe there are many people who can make you happy, but only a very small palmful can make you feel heavenly. 
However, this song is beautiful, and very worth re-covering. Hope it soothes you. ❤
{♪ "Soulmate" © Natasha Bedingfield}{image © respective owner}

"Animalistic Reasoning"

"Animalistic Reasoning"

-Ashley Serena

A deer bounds behind shrubs 

Her heart pattering at the thought 

Of what a human could do

If it came near enough

For they show many faces 

Those bipedal beasts

Voices hush and eyes crinkle

As they smile with their teeth

Saying, "Come, little darling,

This hand won't harm, 

You need more than your pelt

To keep yourself warm."

Is it through a skeptic's lens

A deer views man, then?

However can she tell 

A hunter from a friend?

"Best to have another day

To decide what is best,"

Is the thought of the deer,

Her breath caged in her chest

"It is easier to view the intentions of man

From a hillside, a mountain, a faraway land." 

And so, the deer lengthens her limbs

Sprinting as hard as she can

From maybe, from perchance

From risky interaction

But what the deer does not know is 

The farther away she leaps

The farther from a friendly touch

Her heart she does keep

{"Animalistic Reasoning" © Ashley Serena}

{image via WeHeartIt}

"Because I Have Been a Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief"

My motto, since I was thirteen-years-old, has been: 

"Look for the good in life, look for the good in others."

This song has always touched me,
and the clip The Church released warmed my heart.
May we all try to step into someone's shoes every now and again.

{"Parable of the Good Samaritan" video © The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints}

"The Girl from Abroad"

The woman who acted as my guide 

as I learned how to teach English to Japanese students,

just sent me a haiku that she wrote 

for me.

花影に

異国の乙女

また想う

When I see cherry blossoms, 

I miss the girl 

from abroad, again.

My heart is overflowing, right now.

As are my eyes.

{"The Girl from Abroad" © Yuko Yoshimura}

{images © respective owners}

"春は初恋 Spring Love"

I wrote this haiku during class. Quite literally, it reads:
haru wa hatsu - A new springkoi ni ochikeri - The remnants of falling in loveaki wa aku - Tired in autumn
Here's my English version:

Aw, that's sad... o(；△；)oBut the Japanese traditionally link spring with budding love and autumn with wearied love.So, I experimented with that idea.
         

"haru wa hatsu" and "aki wa aku"

contain an alliteration in Japanese that make it pleasing to the ear.
"hatsu" is the end of the first line,"koi" is the beginning of the next line."hatsu-koi" means "first love".If read correctly, these lines can be linked with a dual meaning.

Delving into literature and the arts of the language you're studying is a beautiful way to strengthen your understanding of it.
{"春は初恋 Spring Love" © Ashley Serena}

"Ghastly Guest"

Nighttime enhances life.
Sounds become louder, feelings grow stronger,
and every single scene from every single horror film you've ever seen ever 
reels through your head and you become a ball of blubbering blankets.
...Let me share with you how easily I spook...

Last night,
my eyes drifted blearily open
when I heard someone come through the front door.
They set bags down, moved heavy things around,
then stomped down the hall to the guest bathroom.

The next thing I heard
was stampeding footsteps towards my room,
and I watched as my door flew open
with a sickening CRUNCH-BAM.
Then, all was silent.
And nobody was there.

Roommie Rachel told me this morning,
she felt afraid before bed last night,
and prayed for comfort.
Be gone, ye fiendish ghosty.
Don't scare us anymore.

images via WeHeartIt (© their respective owners)

"The Strangeness of Beauty"

This novel is a remarkably profound gaze at Japan 
through an outsider's eyes.

So many things I've observed myself are written inside. 

{The best books are relatable, deshou?}

This part in particular struck a chord inside me:

I've been thinking about how the concluding third line of a haiku always has to contain a surprise. A twist in perspective or mood, something that sets you off balance, that causes you to gasp...

The conclusion I've reached is that surprise -- or mystery, or anticipation, or whatever you wish to call it -- is the basis of life. Beyond compelling us to read to the third line in a poem, it's what makes us leave our beds, fall in love, listen to jokes, speculate endlessly about the weather.

"The Root of Fear"

There are many different shades of fear, 
and people react to shocking situations in strange, and altering ways.
How do you handle things that frighten you?

{"The Root of Fear" © Ashley Serena}

{image © respective owner}

"Veni, Veni & I Wonder As I Wander"

Two Christmas songs! 
I wanted to prove to myself that I could still sing, with a cold.
{But now my body is dead.}
The first song, "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel"
in Latin and Japanese:

Veni, Veni by ashleyserena

Veni, veni, Emmanuel

Captivum solve Israel

Qui gemit in exilio

Privatus Dei Filio

Hisashiku machinichi
Shu yo, toku kitarite
Mitami no nawame wo
Toki hanachi tamae!

Shu yo, Shu yo
Mitami wo
Sukuwase tamaeya!

Ashita no hoshi naru
Shu yo, toku kitarite
O-guraki kono yo ni
Mihikari wo tamae!

Shu yo, Shu yo
Mitami wo
Sukuwase tamaeya!

Second, a straight run-thru a cappella version,
sung in 4 different keys,
of one of my favorites, "I Wonder As I Wander":

I Wonder As I Wander (A Cappella) by ashleyserena

I wonder as I wander out under the sky 
How Jesus, the Savior, did come for to die 
For poor ornery people like you and like I 
I wonder as I wander... 
Out under the sky



May we all take a breath, as we prepare for the holidays,
and reflect when the Lord touched our lives, this year,
or sent His angels to hold us. 

{"Veni, Veni" MP3 Download HERE}

{"I Wonder As I Wander (A Cappella)" MP3 Download HERE}

{images via WeHeartIt & Tumblr}

"Seven Devils"

They say you can fight with your inner demons, 
or learn to live with them.
My faith teaches me to exorcise the devil in my head,
and my own strong sense of justice demands it.

We will always have trials,
but it is how we face them, and what weapons we use
that defines who we really are.

As of right now,
I'm still figuring out what kind of warrior I am.
Perhaps the reason some of us are taught to turn to God,
is because we do an awful job sewing ourselves back together
with our shaky, unexperienced hands.





"Seven Devils"
Florence + The Machine


Holy water cannot help you now
A thousand armies couldn't keep me out
I don't want your money
I don't want your crowd
See, I have to burn your kingdom down


Holy water cannot help you now
See, I've had to burn your kingdom down
And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out
I'm gonna raise the stakes
I'm gonna smoke you out


Seven devils all around you
Seven devils in my house
See, they were there when I woke up this morning
And I'll be dead before the day is done


Seven devils all around you
Seven devils in your house
See, I was dead when I woke up this morning
And I'll be dead before the day is done
Before the day is done


And now all your love will be exorcised
And we will find you saying it's to be harmonized
And it's an even sum
It's a melody
It's a battle cry
It's a symphony


Seven devils all around you
Seven devils in my house
See, they were there when I woke up this morning
And I'll be dead before the day is done


Seven devils all around you
Seven devils in your house
See, I was dead when I woke up this morning
And I'll be dead before the day is done
Before the day is done
Before the day is done
Before the day is done


You keep me alive
'Til I tear the walls
'Til I slave your hearts
And they take your souls
And what have we done?
Can it be undone?
In the evil's heart
In the evil's soul


Seven devils all around you
Seven devils in your house
See, I was dead when I woke up this morning
I'll be dead before the day is done
Before the day is done

{images via Tumblr & Aleksandra}

"Haunted Japanese Summers (Thinking Aloud)"

Professor Masakazu Watabe and I 
sat down with Thinking Aloud on Classical 89
to discuss Japanese hauntings and folklore.
Here's what we had to say:

Haunted Japanese Summers (Thinking Aloud)

It was brilliant getting a native's perspective,
and comparing it with my foreign one.
Give it a listen... And Happy Halloween! ヾ（*⌒ヮ⌒*）ゞ

{image via WeHeartIt} 

"What You Never Know (Won't Hurt You)"

Current Theme Song: 

Every time a chance comes 
to unstitch my heart,
I find the smallest fault in the boy
and turn away.
Enough of this, already. 
It's time to face things head-on, again. 

{images via WeHeartIt}

"As to Why I'm Flying Solo"

Roomie Kate: "But you kinda like him, so I won't snuggle with him."

Me: "NO! Go ahead! I'm not chasing him!" 

Roomie Kate: "And why not?" 

Me: "He hates dogs! He loves cilantro! It will NEVER work!"

Roomie Kate: "You're never going to find the perfect man, dear." 

Me: "Dogs and cilantro are big things!" 

Chuckle, chuckle. 

But really, I am rather star-stuck 

with my desire to be intimate with friends 

rather than opening up to another boy. 

I've done the dangerous deed 

of forming a dream boy in my head. 

Perhaps, he was always there, only, 

quieted by the boy I already had. 

So, when that boy left, 

I finally pumped life into him. 

This boy has spice in his eyes, 

music in his fingertips, 

a foreign lilt in his voice. 

And takes me all over the world. 

And I am all too aware 

of how unfair I'm being 

to the American boys around me. 

Sigh. 

{images via WeHeartIt}

"Standing Before the Sunrise"

With every new morning,

spring graduation approaches...

and my stomach knots itself

as the sun begins to peek 

on the horizon.

I could work for Disney World with Liz,

and network my way over to Tokyo Disney.

I could move to the island of Oahu

and translate Japanese for my friend's company.

I could work for Interac again,

and teach English in Japan.

I could try to find an odd job

in Kansai, somewhere,

maybe work for Akemi's little crepe shoppe?

I could move to Seattle with Erin

and try to work for Japan Air.

I could move somewhere to Switzerland with Erin

and write independent music.

Or I could cast all those plans to sea. 

With each new wave,

a fresh idea washes over me.

The salty bite is exhilarating, against my green skin,

but leaves me when the tide pulls back.

I do not know which wave to ride

to reach that sunrise, 

and it frightens me, 

alone,

on this beach,

made of the sands

of my twenty-two years.

{images via WeHeartIt}

"Dog... Er, Cat Day"

What's that? 

3 essays & 2 tests to complete before August 29th? 

An 11-track soundtrack to record? 

Outings and social events to attend?

Nah...

I think...

Today...

I'll just curl up like a cat.

And sleep.

Night night.

{images via WeHeartIt}

"Maestro Bard's Love Reflections"

"You say that you love the rain,

but you open your umbrella when it rains.

You say that you love the sun,

but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.

You say that you love the wind,

but you close your windows when it blows.

This is why I am afraid,

you say that you love me too."

-William Shakespeare

{images via WeHeartIt}

"Penna"

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." -E. L. Doctorow

"A novel is never anything but a philosophy put into images." -Albert Camus

Once upon a time, 

I moved into Stratford Court 

and quickly discovered that my room-roommate 

was a living, breathing form

of one of my characters in the book I'm writing. 

It's been fascinating talking with Kami 

(or, as I call her, "Aiata") 

when I'm acting like my main charry, Cho.

I get to see how the two would interact 

in real life.

Making them all the more tangible to me.

Kami/Aiata is gifted in cooking, analyzing, kindness... 

And she's amazing with designs.

Just looking at these penna etchings she did on my hands, 

I feel like I'm in my main man's (Toraj's) desert home. 

I feel like I'm in my book.

Am I crazy for having so many muses living inside me?

But... aren't we all a patchwork of people? 

Aren't we walking quilts of the ones who've sewn us?

{♪ "Ne Me Jugez Pas (Volodia Remix)" © Sawt el Atlas}