"I Have a Job for You, Greenpeace"

Instead of more gelato,

I ate Free Willy today.

*le gasp*

Everything in the restaurant was made by angels,

but even angels couldn't chase away the image

of what I was eating

out of my head.

Optimistically,

I can mark it down on the list of absurd meats I've consumed.

{Along with ostrich, crocodile, and buffalo.}

And seriously,

no cake shoppes, Utah??

Do you comprehend the MONEY you would make off my patronization??!

And finally,

no meal is complete without Engrish.

{It's the dessert's dessert.}

"Lovely Garden"

wants to raise a houseplant with you.

Say, "yes", for HAPPY days.